


Beneath Still Water

by ThereIsNoTragedyInThat



Series: A Thousand Futures of Me and You [234]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Drabble, Drowning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Grief/Mourning, High School, Hurt Stephen Strange, M/M, Protective Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26132422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat/pseuds/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat
Summary: Stephen didn't want to die. Not here in this godforsaken lake.
Relationships: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Series: A Thousand Futures of Me and You [234]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1118655
Comments: 8
Kudos: 78





	Beneath Still Water

**Author's Note:**

> Day 18. Near Drowning.

A gentle, almost coaxing breeze slid off the water of the small lake, causing subtle little ripples to lap against the edge of the dock. Stephen was shivering lightly, limbs all scrunched up into a ball, a familiar ache in his muscles after many hours on the hard, unforgiving wood. The sun had disappeared behind the treetops a long time ago, plunging him into darkness and still Stephen did not move.

In a way, Stephen had known exactly what would happen when sat down here, staring into the depths, resting one chilled hand in the water. There had been a pressure rising up inside him since the moment he woke up that morning…since the moment he realized what day it was.

It felt like her ghost was hovering behind him.

Stephen didn’t mind. He missed her and when he closed his eyes, mind crowded with grief, tears following a winding path down his cheek, he swore he could feel her hand on his shoulder, pushing, nudging him in a certain direction.

There was an obnoxious buzzing, his phone vibrating shrilly against the wood of the dock. Stephen didn’t spare it a glance, his eyes fixed on the midway point of the lake, where he knew it was the deepest. He could remember playing with his cousins, seeing how far down they could swim, how long they could hold their breath. None of them had ever touched the bottom.

The buzzing stopped only to start right back up again and with a world-weary sigh Stephen shifted closer to the water. He should feel guilty, ignoring Tony wasn’t the kindest thing to do on a day like today…not when he worried so much about him. Hell, by now even his parents must have noticed he was missing. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to pick up his phone because his family, his boyfriend felt like they were a thousand worlds away from this moment right here.

Stephen swung his feet over the edge and into the water, let the sensation of it, frigid and biting seep into the fabric of his pants, his socks, his shoes. He knew it was stupid, but he felt like a ball rolling down a hill, gaining speed and momentum, to fast to be stopped without outside intervention.

With a breathless gasp Stephen lowered himself fully into the lake. Weeds reached up and tangled with his shoes and around his legs, catching on them even as he kicked harder to compensate for his clothing. He felt reckless as he started moving toward the center of the lake, fingers going numb and muscles stiff from sitting so long. It was a recipe for a disaster, yet it still felt as though her ghost was egging him on.

This was why Tony worried so much.

Breathing hard, Stephen hovered above the deepest part of the lake, working hard to stay afloat and suddenly he was _sobbing,_ great heaving cries until a swell of pain moved through his body, seeped from his very soul, making him throw his head back and let out a piercing, guttural scream. The sound filled the air around him, haunting and tormented.

It took every ounce of his energy and in that moment, as it went out and up into the night sky, he stopped trying and _slipped_ beneath the surface. Everything was still for several long seconds…peaceful and dark as sound was swallowed up by the water, as it washed away his tears and numbed the sensation of heartache. Stephen almost wished he could stay there forever, in the cruel embrace of the lake that had taken so much from him.

It didn’t last.

Stephen’s lungs burned something fierce, adding a sharp edge to the numbness seeping through his body. The need to breathe overwhelmed the urge to just stay and he found himself kicking hard, one waterlogged shoe slipping off his foot, arms working hard to reach for the surface. The moon could just be seen, casting an ethereal glow as he reached…reached… _too far._

He wasn’t making any headway. His body felt like ice, limbs seizing up as desperation suddenly shot through his senses. Stephen didn’t want to die, that wasn’t why he swam out into this godforsaken lake, he’d done it for Donna, because he felt her here and he needed to be closer.

_Maybe he would finally find the bottom._

The stray thought floated through his mind and then Stephen was panicking. There was no breath left in his lungs, they contracted painfully, his mouth open to breathe despite himself…

A shadow moved across his vision. It was impossible to see what it exactly it was with only the moonlight but then he felt something familiar. A firm grip settled around his wrist, holding tight, followed by a yank on his elbow.

They were moving upwards.

Stephen’s head broke the surface and the world came back into focus like a shot to the head. He spluttered, gasping for air while trying to dispel the water he’d inhaled on the way up. Hands were on him, pulling him toward the shore relentlessly while Stephen tried to control the shaking in his body.

He didn’t need to look to know who had saved him.

Tony was a force to be reckoned with. Through stinging eyes, he took in the sight of Tony’s expression, set with grim determination as they made slow progress. It took Stephen far too long to realize words were being uttered between Tony’s clenched teeth. A litany of ‘ _you’re alright, keep kicking, stay awake, you’re alright.’_

When they finally made it to shore, Stephen was practically dumped onto the grass and before he’d even managed to get his bearing, Tony was kneeling in front of him, drenched and wild-eyed. His hands gripped either side of Stephen’s face, Tony’s own mere inches from him, “what were you doing? Stephen _what were you doing_?”

Anger coloured his tone and Stephen knew…god he knew exactly what Tony was feeling right now. That didn’t stop him from reaching up to grip his wrists, yanking him closer, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he croaked over and over again. His mind’s eye showed him exactly what this could have been, Tony trying to resuscitate his body like Stephen had done all those years ago.

“I heard you scream,” Tony was holding him like it was the last time. “I thought I was too late.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry”.

“Never again,” Tony hissed. “You hear me? Never a fucking again Stephen.”

“Never,” he stuttered out between shivering lips; face pressed tightly against Tony’s shirt. “Never.”

Despite everything. Despite it being the anniversary of his sister’s death. Despite nearly drowning. Despite the near constant throb of his guilt…Stephen felt something in his gut loosen. For the first time in a very long time, he felt like he may have just let something go…or maybe it was Donna’s ghost letting go of him.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell into the void that is my tumblr. All Prompts welcome.


End file.
